With Love from Mom: Keep Doing Your Thing

March 8, 2017 13 LIKES

Every couple has their thing- that one event or tradition they love doing together.

The kind of thing they don’t mind spending money or hours of their time on. For some it’s traveling, working out, trying new restaurants, bowling, or going to sporting events. For me and my husband, Jared, it’s live music. Our first dates were spent sitting in the car after dinner listening to music for hours. We have hundreds of ticket stubs from the live shows we’ve attended, including years of Bonnaroo since our first in 2007.

When I became pregnant with our first daughter, Kyndall, I mourned that the simplicity of going to a concert or music festival together was now over. Sure- I could still go to concerts at some point…but I thought it wouldn’t be for months or years. And forget Bonnaroo…that part of my life was over.

3 weeks after Kyndall was born, our favorite band was playing. I was miserable thinking about it. How could I even go? I was exhausted and breastfeeding. How would Kyndall survive without me? I’d have to pump. The whole thought was so overwhelming, I just resigned to send Jared without me.

But he knew how much I needed to go. How much we needed that time to reconnect as a couple doing “our thing.” He knew Kyndall would be fine for 4 hours with her grandma and though it wasn’t easy, but he convinced me to go.

We figured it out.

I took a small manual pump knowing I’d have to pump a little at some point during the show. Fortunately, Kyndall had already occasionally taken breastmilk from a bottle with no issues so we knew she’d be able to eat. Trust me, I know what you’re thinking and yes- I know every mom isn’t that fortunate. My mother-in-law is a nurse so Kyndall was honestly in better, less exhausted, more capable hands.

As we got in the car to leave, I started crying immediately. I hated the thought of leaving her, enjoying myself without her and pretending not to be a mom. It felt like I was missing an appendage.

We sat in the lawn and before the show, I called and texted my MIL so many times, I thought I might as well have not even gone. Then, as the lights came on and they started their first song, it hit me all at once. Live music fills my soul and makes me feel alive. Jared and I made eye contact and all the worries, exhaustion, fights, anxiety, and reality of being new parents melted away and it was just about us doing what we love to do together. I knew at that moment that I would find a way to go to concerts and music festivals for the rest of my life.

Was it hard? Yes.

Did pumping under a blanket in the middle of the lawn completely suck? Yes.

Did I feel like a bad mom for enjoying myself and leaving my child so soon? Yes.

Was it worth it? A million times yes.

It renewed me. Refreshed me. Reminded me that there’s still a part of me outside of being a mom that can’t be forgotten and that there’s an important part of my marriage outside of being parents that can’t be abandoned.

We still go to Bonnaroo every year and travel to other festivals and concerts. I think my daughters have been to more concerts in my womb than most adults. We are fortunate enough to have family stay with our girls while we go. Our girls love these weekends alone with their grandparents and we love being able to stay connected and keep doing “our thing.”

Live music may not be your thing. You may not get it and that’s ok! It doesn’t matter what your thing is….only that you keep doing it. Oh- and if anyone tries to make you feel bad about taking the time to do your thing, whether your child is 2 weeks or 12 years old, feel free to give them my number.

With Love from Mom: Keep Doing Your Thing

Kassidy McCowan

Momseze Blogger

Kassidy is a budding supermom and guest blogger at Momseze. When she's not helping her three girls perfect a new lip sync routine, she enjoys catching a show with her husband, visiting with family or happy hour at the beach.